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March 17, 2021

S2E25 - How the Unconventional Can Power Your Dreams (with Pauleanna Reid & Poet, D'Naia Bryant))

S2E25 - How the Unconventional Can Power Your Dreams (with Pauleanna Reid & Poet, D'Naia Bryant))

What if....you were unconventional and used it to power your dreams?  Imagine being an executive assistant for 10 years and building a six-figure business from your cubicle?  You heard me right.  What if you sat in your "Queendom" during this Women's History Month and dared to live as you colored outside of the lines?  Imagine that!  In this episode, I am joined by Celebrity Ghost Writer and Power Communicator and Journalist, Pauleanna Reid and Phenomenal Poet, D'Naia Bryant.  Through their work and their words, we each leave empowered, with a few nuggets to leverage today and with a revised pep in our step.  Are you ready?  I'm #allin


Here's a breakdown of this power episode that is for each of you to listen time and time again and to share with others who will find the value in the amazing soul work that is within these 37 minutes.

**Don't forget to leave your 5-star review IF and when you found any value in this amazing episode**  Thanking you in advance!

  • Minute 0:00 - Episode Overview
  • Minute 0:52 - Welcome
  • Minute 1:20 - Powerful Affirmation from www.lolitawalker.com/shop - I am beyond the greatness that others have yet to see! #believeit
  • Minute 2:01 - Show Expectations
  • Minute 2:33 - Guest Introductions
  • Minute 3:47 - "Queendom" by Poet D'Naia Bryant to celebrate every women during this Women's History Month
  • Minute 7:20 - Coaching with Lolita E. Walker + a bit of Soul Work on being unconventional and helping you get at what is in your way. For 1-1 or group coaching, contact Lolita at www.lolitawalker.com/coaching 
  • Minute 12:14:  Cocktails to celebrate the greatness of each of you
  • Minute 14:54:  Conversations with  Pauleanna Reid, who shares her story, emphasizes the power of communication and how to strengthen your skills, turning conversations into leads and so much more.

Grab your CC&C Journal from www.lolitawalker.com/podcast and let's get into it.

Other links for you to stay connected:

See you next episode!  Till then, May you embrace, act, and thrive - on purpose.

 

Please don't forget to leave a 5-star review, IF you gained anything from this episode.  I'd love to read it during the cocktails portion of the upcoming episode. AND, Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your journey,

Lolita E. Walker of lolitawalker.com

Transcript
  • Speaker 1: [Lolita E. Walker (Host)]
  • Speaker 2: [D'Naia Bryant (Poet)]
  • Speaker 3: [Pauleanna Reid (Guest)]

 

 

Speaker 1: Hey y'all. It is Lolita E. Walker and I am so excited to be here for coaching cocktails and conversations. What a powerful episode that I have for you today. Imagine being an executive assistant to CEOs and presidents all over the world for 10 years. Imagine sitting at that seat of the table and creating your own table as you created your own six figure business. Yep. I have Pauleanna Reid here today. And I'm so excited. And then you know, it is Women's History Month. So, as I promised, every episode this month, we are having a powerful poets or poets to give their words to us. And today I have poet, the D'Naia Bryant, who is reciting her poem entitled “Queendom.” And you don't want to miss it. You ready? Let's go.

Welcome to Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations” with Lolita E Walker, the podcast that coaches you up, while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, tea or something stronger, and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go. 

As always, we kick off every episode with a powerful affirmation from Walker and Walker Enterprises. And today's affirmation is “I am the greatness that others have yet to see.”

When you are ready to set the intention for your day and walk in it, you can grab your powerful 40 card affirmation deck directly from lolitawalker.com/shop. I want to say hey, to all of you all who are coming back and joining us at this kitchen table. I already know you have pulled up your comfortable seat. Yeah, I know. And for all of you all who are new, hey, and welcome to Coaching, Cocktails & Conversations.  Around here, we break things down into three layers. The first is all about coaching. Now this is where I leave you with a couple of nuggets just to challenge your thinking. And then there are cocktails and there is absolutely no judgement about what you are sipping on when you come to this kitchen table. This is all about celebrating the greatness of who you are. This is where we give you a Cheers. And then finally we have some good old-fashioned conversations with some amazing guests. Or it might just be you and I around this kitchen table. But today we have powerful guests. Pauleanna Reid, celebrity ghost writer and journalist. Pauleanna is doing some amazing things and I am so excited to have her here. She is a woman who has fought for her dreams and she has won. We can see it in every single thing that she does. And what I love about Pauleanna is that she is what I call unconventional, hence today's title. She not only built her six-figure company from a cubicle, but she is also a senior contributor at Forbes and Business Insider. She gets paid to be herself and she loves to refer to herself as a media darling.  Get your pen and pad ready because she is dropping some nuggets today on how the

 

unconventional can help power your dreams. And then we don't stop there. D'Naia Bryant is a poet. And let me tell you her words are going to sting you today. She is talking about queendom.

Are you sitting in your queendom? And this is all to celebrate the powerful women who are listening in this month. So, we're going to go ahead and get into this coaching right after we hear this poem from D'Naia. She is getting us right today.

Speaker 2: Hello, my name is D'Naia Bryant. I'm a poet, writer, and motivator. And when I think of Women's History Month, I think of joy, laughter, peace, pain, growth, nurturing, and sisterhood. So the poem I'm going to read it's called queendom written by me.

"Head tilted. 

Face resting on fabulous. 

Some mistake it for a frown, but we just smell different when we adjusting the crown

We be so fresh and so clean.

All this black, all this brown, all this tan

Dark, light, all the skin just glowing

from all the growing and shea butter and vitamin E oil.

And this queendom ain't no discriminating.

We pick each other up, have no time for the drama proven others wrong.

We aren't just petty or catty.  What's beef?  We alt that.

And this queendom, we ain't tearing anyone down.

We'd be about our business but never too busy to scream out. Yes girl!

Okay, shoes, dress, brows, body, running the world. Then chilling the next minute.

Queens be out here fearless with fear.

We too afraid.

Deep in our wombs, birthing out purpose

with scars and wounds and follow our dreams scared.

We be rulers, rulers over much. We so dope.

Delicate like blooming flowers in spring,

scorching like sun rays and summer,

 

colorful like autumn leaves and yes sometimes we fall.

Colorless and cold like winter snow, blank canvas.

Our dreams have innate in us.

Sometimes we forget who we are but queens be reminding him,

Queens be intelligent.  Queens be work of art beautiful.  Queens be powerful.

We get them kids together with one look, or don't want kids at all because we are more than wives and mothers.

Start policing our bodies, but I digress.

We take all of our sadness, hurt and pain, tears fed-up-niss,

Put it in the Queen handbook. Wrap it with a ribbon of creativity.

Don't sweat it if we get let down by a man or friend, we will always find a way to love again.

We don't hold grudges,

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and we'd be like new phone, who this?

Queens make something out of nothing.

 Get you a queen that does both.

I'm talking sweet whispers of I love you

and then that cash money ticket over for the 99-2000 to you.

Lead from the front with hills, lashes, nails and make up

or sweat sneaks hat still slayed up all these prayed up.

Get your queen that does both.

Praise the Lord. But if you don't act right, we'll knuck.

If you buck, we rally together with our communities,

 care about humanity, we will feed you if you hungry,

clothe you if you're naked, watch your babies while you hang out with your boo and your ladies.

Queens ain't never shady.  We drink the water daily, and we mind the business that pays us.

Making music out of laughter because it's good for the soul.

 

 

As we grow old, we make sure our princesses learn the game.

It can only be taught, not bought.

And trust me.  In this Queendom, we don't want to leave any of us behind.

We will flourish forward.

We are more than just a fragile heart. 

We are forces to be reckoned with by design, just like God intended.”

 

Speaker 1: Yeah! Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us. I have told you before and I'm going to tell you again, you are so super talented. May you continue to share your voice with the world because your words are so powerful? Thank you again.

It's time for some coaching and a little bit of soul work. Hopefully you already have your CC&C Journal from Lolitawalker.com/podcasts. But listen, what we're gonna do is just write down a couple of notes. If you don't have it, not to worry at all. Just go ahead and think through the exercise with us. So, for coaching today, it's nice and simple. When you hear the word unconventional, what do you think about? Well, according to our best friend, Google, it is not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed. That's what I'm talking about. Because according to Lolita, unconventional is when you color and draw outside of the lines.

Imagine when your teacher gives you that sheet of paper and they say color in the lines, make it real neat. Make it real neat. But what if you were that Maverick?  That individual who chooses to fly outside of the lines and make their own colors? Draw their own destiny? What if you're coloring with a different color than was supposed to be used and then just create this beautiful fusion? What if? What if it seems to be unusual? What if is unorthodox? What if you're doing something that's against the norm? What if your brain shifts and moves differently? What if your different way of learning is unconventional? Yes. Create, create, and create! How can you use this creativity? How can you use this brush against the norm? How can you use this? I think differently, I move differently. I'm gonna try this. I feel the butterflies inside of my belly telling me that it's time to

 

leap. How do you use that to power your dreams?

If there was no fear before you in this very incident, what would you be doing? Go ahead and write it down. If there were no constraints, what would you be doing right now? What would you be doing a year from today? Now answer me this. What's in the way? I want you to write down three things that are in a way from you achieving that goal right there that is in your mind, unrestricted of what you can be doing right now. And what you can be doing a year from now. So, you have what is unconventional means to you. Then you have, what is it without any barriers, what I’ll be doing in this moment right now. And what would I be doing in one year? And then what you have is what is in the way. Right? What's in the way, just three things?

In today's soul work, because we're all about soul work, right? You won't finish everything right here. But this is the challenge of thinking, I want you to choose one thing that you can do, by the end of this month, to help me move closer toward, me doing this thing. I want you to think outside of the box, I want you to think outside of the triangle, I want you to find that light that is over there. I want you to find that resource that is there that can help you. I want you to find that open door. That doesn't look like its open now, but yet I see that crack. Let me venture in that door. Let me ask the questions. Let me seek the help. Let me make myself vulnerable for a minute. Let me remember that I don't have to do it all by myself. I want you to become unconventional so that you can power your dreams. Right? Go ahead and do that exercise. I'd love for you to write in to me and let me know.

How did that go for you? What is that one thing that you were doing to help to get that dream to become powered? Based off of your unconventional. What if you had no barriers? What would you be doing? What if you were living in that queendom? What if your mindset was such that I know who I am, inside of this instance right here? I know the strengths that I bring to the table. I know the faith that I stand upon? I know the foundation that I stand upon? Listen, and if you don't, it's okay. Go back to episode 1 because that is where I talk about what is the foundation that you are standing upon? Go back to the episode when I talk about who is at your playground. Go back to the episode where we talk about who is on your train. And is it time to open those doors up so that you can let people off, so that you can let your dreams come on in. Let's think about it. Today is a special day because I'm going to push you just a little bit further to be that unconventional to power your dreams. Make sense? And when you are ready to get pushed even farther and farther, and have an accountability partner right by your side. Let's chat. Maybe it's coaching that you need. I'm in for you, lolitawalker.com/coaching.

It's time for some cocktails. Are we celebrating today? What are we celebrating? Today? I am giving each of you a cheers for being unconventional. You recognizing what you need to do in order to manifest your dreams. You recognizing what is in the way and you accepting that. Guess what? There is a piece of me that is unconventional. What if there were no barriers before me today? What would I be doing? I am giving you a cheers for doing soul work on that. Huh? What else are you giving a cheers to? Let me see for me. I'm also giving a cheers for this amazing five

 

star review from Elmora. It reads, “what an amazing tribute to our mothers, daughters and sisters. This is truly important work. And it comes as such an important and appropriate time. Thank you for allowing me to have a voice here. I'm humbled by your consideration. Looking forward to your future podcast, well quality and production - beautiful. I absolutely love it”. Thank you so much Elmora. Listen, if you have not already written your amazing five-star review; if you are pulling out any nuggets, go ahead and head on over to Apple podcasts and leave an amazing review. Because guess what? People are reading. I'm reading and I'd love to showcase you right here on Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations. And here is a final cheer to each of you for always tuning in. I'm given a chance for you picking up nuggets and breadcrumbs along the way, and then leveraging them inside of you every day. I didn't even try to rhyme right there. But I'm giving you a cheers for that. I get so many DMS, I get so many emails that tell me what I am saying is tapping into you. What the guests that come on the show are saying tapping into you so please keep them coming. There is nothing like affirmation. I talk about it all the time. There's nothing like recognizing that there are tangibles that come out of the words right here on Coaching, Cocktails & Conversations. So, I appreciate each of you all, cheers! It's time for some good old-fashioned conversations.

Hey there! And welcome to Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations. How are you today?

Speaker 3: I'm great. How are you?

Speaker 1: I'm doing so awesome. I'm excited to speak to you today because our topic surrounds being unconventional. And one thing I know about you, I've read about you, I feel like I am all in about you, is being unconventional from the beginning to the end. So, let's just kind of start right there. Tell me a little bit about yourself. And then we're just going to pop into some questions on how the unconventional can power your dreams?

Speaker 3: Absolutely. So, my name is Pauleanna and whenever someone asks me to introduce myself, I always say that I'm a millennial woman who fought for her dreams and won. I am more than my title, you know? I mean.  And I think it's really important to really understand who you are, beyond it. I'm widely known for my work as a journalist. I am a journalist at Forbes and Business Insider. I'm also an agency owner, I am a celebrity ghostwriter. I own a full-service agency that is supported by 10 women of color, who are fantastic at what they do, who are content ninjas, and I'm very proud of the work that we lead. I'm a mentor, I have a mentorship programm called New Girl on the Block. That is really where my heartbeat exists. I'm a nerd, I love to play chess, I love working out, playing sports. I love reading. A lot of people relate to me because I haven't let the matrix get to my head.

Speaker 1: I love it. And you know, what I really resonated with was the introduction being beyond titles. I am beyond the title that I put on my business card. And it's great that you say that because when I introduced myself, I always say I am power. I am passion. And I am purpose. I love that because outside of what anybody can call themselves listen to what I heard from you is that I employ content ninjas, I said absolutely.

 

Speaker 3: And all of this while for a while employing women of color.

Speaker 1: So just talking about that. I mean, I think that we can go into the questions really being around being unconventional gifting a space and a platform to really allow your voice to be elevated and to be heard differently than what it was before. So, talk to me about one, why was it important to you to hire, to employ an all-black staff?

Speaker 3: Not just all black, but all women.  We did have a gentleman, but you know, we parted ways. And I'm still best friends with him. I just find that, you know, most creative spaces are male dominated. I think women are powerful. I think we are magical. I think we are innovative and intelligent. And I have always surrounded myself for as long as I can remember past college with really powerful women, women who challenged me who stood for something who fought for something. And it was just really important to me, because especially in the space of creative writing, I want more women, women of color, black women to really consider it as a career option. I think a lot of us who grew up in Caribbean households, we only were given three things, lawyer, doctor, and whatever else, right. And so, we're seeing now in today's climate that executives, celebrities, high power people, we're seeing them place an emphasis on their communications team, right? To help them navigate sensitivities, to help them with their messaging and the delivery to be a writer right now is pretty badass. So, I want more women of color and more black women to consider it as a career option. You need writing and everything that you do, whether it's written reports, whether it's blueprints, whether you're writing your book, even if you're not going to pursue it as a profession, just strengthening that skill is going to help you in the long run.

Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. I love that so many things I want to grab a hold of right there. One is Caribbean parents. And you know, my father was from Jamaica.  He’s since passed, but he used to take us to Jamaica every two years. And his intention behind that was I want you to see, and I want you to appreciate what it is that you have. And when I say Jamaica, I mean Big Woods. I mean, the sticks that still don't probably have streets paved streets in 2021. But communication was always so big with him being able to articulate so writing book reports at a very early age and getting them the red marks all over it and giving it back as if you had not written anything at all was really pure inside of my household. I wonder if you could talk about maybe what are three nuggets that you would leave today for the people around the kitchen table with us listening in on how to strengthen their communication.

Speaker 3: I would say practice makes perfect, just like with anything else. I have a lot of people who DM me, email me, text me, you know, how can they build on their writing skills and I tell them like writers, write. You can't think about it, dream about it, pray about it. You've got to write. So, I always tell people to start by building their content library. Start with a blog, a simple blog. I started my first blog 10 years ago. I'm not traditionally trained. I don't have an education writing, none of that. I just worked at it by reading a lot. I think that's my second gem. Like people who are excellent communicators, who are excellent writers who can speak really well, they read a lot. And the third thing I would say is just don't be afraid to make mistakes. Don't be afraid to mess up by

 

all means. Like, my writing is not perfect. I've definitely come a long way. I struggled with reading as a kid.  If you stumble, if you make a mistake, its fine, right? Like we live in a world where there's editors and copy editors, and you can you know, you can have accountability and someone to help you along the way. So as long as you put your best foot forward and work it and be consistent, you'll get to where you need to be and where you're meant to be.

Speaker 1: #absolutely, absolutely. I started today's episode with an affirmation. And the affirmation today is I am beyond the greatness that others have yet to see. I'm gonna say that again, for the folks that are listening in today. I am beyond the greatness that others have yet to see, which implies that you already know that there's greatness within you that has whether you feel as though you failed, whether someone has told you that you're lesser than when you show up, I want you to always know that you are beyond the greatness that others have yet to see. And it's their issue that they haven't seen it, but you keep walking in it. And I want to preface that because now I want to ask you this, your story is one of unconventional moment to unconventional moment. And I'd love for you to just kind of walk your journey and really tell us what the unconventional parts of it were. Maybe if it was only three. I'm big on three, as you can see. Because I want folks listening in to know that their unconventional can absolutely power their dreams.

Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. So, when you said that affirmation and I just scribbled it down on a piece of paper. Remember, when you said that affirmation and made me really think about my corporate years.  I was an executive assistant for 10 years. And a lot of people limited me to that title. Looked down on me because of that title, didn't understand the power behind that title. Yeah, didn't understand that I was more than that title. And so, it was very interesting to see over the years how people treated me how they spoke to me how they bullied me in some cases, how they had to kiss my ass. In some cases, people would walk by me, it was just a very in when you're an assistant on any level, it's just a very interesting world that you live in. And the reason why your affirmation meant so much to me is because I remember a quick story.

I remember when the CEO of the company, the CEOs of our company, there was a thing that we called office hours, where her door was left open, and anyone could walk in. And I decided to take it upon myself to walk in, and to have a personal conversation with her because I had previously wanted to move around in my career and possibly join the communications team.  Because I didn't have a degree, there was nothing they could do. So, I walked in, and I talked to the CEO, and we had a great chat. And I told her and I said, your system is flawed. And she said, why is that? I'm like, because I can run circles around your communications team. And because I don't have a degree, I'm not afforded the opportunity to interview for a position. I told her, you know, if that opportunity is not going to work out, then I would love to support you in any way that I could. And long story short, through a series of conversations with her and her publicity team, I was then commissioned to write her commencement speech that she delivered to Lim College in New York. And that was the same day she earned her honorary doctorate. It was such a special moment for us.

 

People don't know your superpowers. But as long as you believe and you raise your hands, I'm telling you like, I mean, I can't tell you how there have been so many moments where I feel like, God won't move unless you do.  You have to raise your hand.  You have to speak up.  You have to create your own opportunities.  Just sitting in my cubicle, as an assistant, I could have been very satisfied with that. But I saw the door that was open, both figuratively and literally. And I made sure that I spoke up to share my gifts.  People cannot read your mind. It's very important that you take that leap of faith and it only takes one person to see you. That's the thing. It only takes one person to see you, to hear you, to give you that fighting chance. And then the door opens up that one opportunity - empowered me to go after more opportunities that empowered me to start my own agency and that empowered me to employ women of color. And so, it was literally the seed that was planted that was watered. That was nurtured that really, it changed the way I saw myself in the world.

Speaker 1: Yes, come through unconventional! I heard so many things there. It's so interesting. My mom was an executive administrative assistant, right, which meant she had an assistant back in the day when she used to work in the government space. And I will tell you that she used to come home with stories of how people would treat her in the office. And the thing is, the way I was raised was, you treat everybody with respect. And quite frankly, what you don't know is the power that an assistant has.  What you don't recognize is the is the power that this assistant has. Because that person knows this person, who doesn't know that person, but then can loop you in with that person. What you don't know is that the person that comes around and collects the trash at night - I used to be in the office for so late, just naturally have reports with folks who collected the trash at night. And how powerful is that? You know, people underestimated. So, what I say and I love what you shared there is take the open doors that are afforded to you. And what if you stay sitting in that seat, and then leverage the door that you already saw open? Look at the unconventional that is now, right?

Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely. Absolutely. It only takes one conversation and if you know how to turn that conversation into a lead, Mm hmm. You're, you're gonna be okay. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1: I didn't even share with the folks around a kitchen table today. I didn't share with them how I came into connection with you. We were on this audio app. And I had seen you in a couple of rooms. And I heard you speak, especially with power women that I kind of can connect with on an intellectual basis. I'm like, Okay, let me follow that person. And then I followed your Instagram and saw this amazing story. And then you always show up just in video. And I said, well, wait a minute. Now this sista right here is taking us all around. And she's doing this and that and she's really being vulnerable. And that, to me is unconventional, as well. Now we're in a social space, right? Everybody has a camera. But the unconventional piece that I'd like for you to talk about is at what point when you left your job as an assistant? Did your next unconventional come in that you would say plateau due to where you are right now? And I'm talking leadership. I'm talking love. I'm talking life in general.

 

Speaker 3: That's a great question. I feel like that those wheels started turning before I quit. My quick story is that, you know, I built a six-figure company from my cubicle 2018. And then I quit February 2019, I knew that the number on the contract that they offered me, that was how much the company could afford that didn't determine my total income. So, I always operated with this belief, I had the capability to earn more, be more, do more, contribute more to the world. When I took the leap of faith, I was all in and I was trusting that God will put out a safety net to catch me.  My dad used to always tell me that I could always get a job if it doesn't work out. And you can, if you swallow your pride, if you had to ride a school bus, if you had to work at McDonald's, or if you've got another corporate job, you can find another job. So, trust yourself in the process. And there's no I was a much when I was in my 20s there's no better time, especially when you're young, I can understand when you're older, you have more responsibility. But there's no better time to like take the opportunity to bet on yourself. And I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I did. And so that same energy, that mental toughness that I developed, I just I take it with me every single place that I go,

I used to use all my vacation time as a business trip so I never took a real vacation. During the four years I was at my last job I used to use as business trips to DC, Atlanta, New York, LA, and I would schedule coffee meetings from 9am to 9pm. For the time that I was there, I was just continuing to plant seeds. And I always kept in mind as I would meet strangers and continue to network. I would always keep in mind, you know, how is this person going to feel when they left my presence? Were they better? Were they less stressed? You know, were they smiling brighter as you navigate the world as you navigate the things you want in life, you really want to come from the heart centered place, you really want to come from a place of servant leadership from compassionate leadership. And that is I can't tell you like you know, once you operate from that space, you will always be taken care of.  You will always be someone that is in demand, you will always be someone that people want to be around because you will be the light to their darkness.  You will be a resource to their problem. You will be the person that they need to have in their circle because you are someone that they look up to. I can't describe it. Many of the high-profile clients I have acquired, it's a chemistry. It's an energy. It's it. I've never honestly, very rarely do I ever have to show my portfolio. Rarely do I have to show a resume. Rarely do I have to justify my positioning or what I know people genuinely wants to hire me or connect with me just because I'm a vibe.

Speaker 1: Absolutely. #Absolutely. Listen, I swear we're in each other's heads. One of the things you say it was God's got me, God will catch me. And I have another affirmation that says, I leap because my strength and my faith have wings that will protect my fall. And when you know that you know that this leap right here, you got it because your strengths, that innate that comes to the table right now, right in this right now, the stuff that's already inside of you, that stuff that you're good at - that stuff. Plus, God. your faith is gonna catch you because it has wings that it's gonna fly you over to the next thing. Honey, I'm just trying to tell you, it's amazing. So, I love that now on this show.

 

 

I have what I call Come as you are, I'm going to throw three questions at you. And I just want you to answer them however you see fit. You ready? Yeah. Why is what you do so important?

Speaker 3: What I do is important, because I address the insecurities of the world's leaders and doers who are shaping the future. When I say insecurities, insecurities, around culture, insecurities around messaging, insecurities around their legacy, their reputation, how they navigate generational societal and cultural sensitivities. I am a content Ninja, I'm a whisper. I am someone that people trust on competence. I think it's important that the people that are in powerful positions who have the spotlight on them, who have influence, I think it's very important how they navigate the industries and spaces they're in. And people like myself who are ghost riders, or communications advisors, we are, we are there to simply be an aid. And I love what I do, because I'm not at the forefront, because it's not about me. It's not about me, and I love being behind the scenes. And I think some of those powerful people in the world are also behind the scenes. So, I want to encourage listeners that you don't need to have your name in lights to make the biggest moves. You'd be so surprised at the people actually running the ship you don't even know about.

Speaker 1: Oh, yes, that's good. What is one strength that you have, that you didn't always recognize was a strength?

Speaker 3: My ability to ask intelligent, well, thoughtful questions.

Speaker 1: Hmmm...Tell me more.

Speaker 3: Even if I have, like casual one on one meetings, the consistent feedback in our casual conversation is, Wow! You ask really good questions. It's never just like, hey, what's up? How you doing? It's never like, the generic. I like to ask questions like, what was your high and low this week? What was your bravest moment of 2020? What are you most passionate about outside of work? I genuinely love connecting with people. So, I find that you can. And I guess honestly, just comes from me just naturally being curious to like, I love the finding out the origin stories, everyone, everyone's fighting their own private battle behind closed doors, everyone's dealing with some shit everyone's scared of. So, I like learning what makes people vulnerable. And I've just refined those skills over time because of my work as a journalist.

Speaker 1: Very nice, very nice. And then here's one for you. What is one barrier that you think still stands before you today?

Speaker 3: The barrier that I am continuously trying to conquer is mental. It's all mental. I'm not afraid of titles. I'm not intimidated by people. I'm not, you know, there's not a lot of things that Absolutely, I mean, everything scares me. But there's not a lot of things I won't pursue because of that. But when it comes to your mental state, I think like across the board, that's probably the number one thing that holds people back. And so, I spend a tremendous amount of time, especially in the mornings.  My mornings are very sacred, I have one to two hours to myself before I start my day before I let the rest of the world into my space.  Mental is something I have to fight every single day my mental wellness.

 

Speaker 1: I love that. I love that, especially because this is an intentionality that so many of us are working on. And here we just leave a final Cheers. We leave a cheers to the greatness of the folks that showed up today. So, it could be a nugget that you want to leave with someone, it could be something that you want to reiterate that you've already shared. It could be something that you haven't shared and just want to get it out to the world. What is the one cheers that you would leave to the audience today?

Speaker 3: Cheers to the reality that everything you need is already inside of you. And you do not have to feel like you should search for the answer inside of a book, documentary, social media, like you literally have all the tools inside of you. You just have to tap into that. But I think this year has been an incredible year for stillness and for having those tough conversations with yourself. And it's those conversations with yourself that will determine whether you win or lose at this game.

Speaker 1: Oh, so good. So good, so good. And a super bonus question for all of those listening in today. How would you answer this question right here? How can the unconventional power your dreams?

Speaker 3: I feel like success is no rise from playing it safe. When I hear the word unconventional, I hear someone's ability to color outside the lines, break the rules, and go against the status quo. Someone who doesn't give a shit what people think of them.  Unconventional is being able to handle life's curveballs, create your own opportunities, and put a comma, where others have put a period. For me, I just and I find it way more fun. To me. It's way more fun. Of course, you know, I've had my own depressive episodes. I've broken down, I've, you know, when you're down. But it empowers you to develop a backbone so that you can climb out of the hole that you're in. And so, I don't know, I just if we had all the answers, if life were in a straight line, if there was a manual to this shit, I just feel like it would be so boring. So I just feel like if you study the origin stories of the world's leaders, entrepreneurs, executives, politicians, you would find that number one, everyone starts as an amateur. Everyone starts at zero, but their journeys are so unconventional, right? Like no one journeys the same. And so, if you embrace that, and just understand that everything is happening for you, not to you, you will learn how to move with things that are happening to you like sometimes they feel so uncomfortable. Sometimes you want to give up you want to throw in the towel, but you can't see around the corner. But I operate with expectancy. I know any texts, any phone call, any email could change my life. Any person could change my life, any conversation could change my life. You know, I welcome and I embrace uncertainty.

Speaker 1: I embrace uncertainty. I love that. I love the notion of coloring outside of the lines. Before you got here, when we do the coaching piece, I talked about coloring outside of the lines. And what do those colors look like? And what if you had no restraints? What if there was no teacher that was telling you that no one had to be inside of the box. And the way I talked to folks about this unconventional was being individualistic, being this Maverick who was uncommon and journeys off the beaten path that color is outside of the lines. So, I love that you brought it together

 

for that. And I just wanted to thank you for showing up in all of the greatness of you. Thank you for showing up for this audience. Thank you for showing up in the different avenues that you're in in the world.

Speaker 3: Thank you, I created a life that I do not want to escape from. And I think that we talked about the mental piece, sometimes you just want to escape. Sometimes you just want to end it. I feel like many of us have been there. But you have the power to write your own script. And that's exactly what I'm doing.

Speaker 1: #Absolutely. We have concluded another episode of Coaching, Cocktails & Conversations with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with me at Lolitawalker.com for speaking, coaching, and my book, The Intersection of You & Change. Next time bring a friend.  Cheers!